From Reddit: Too Shy to Admit It

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Fred
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From Reddit: Too Shy to Admit It

Post by Fred »

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comme ... _to_admit/

What can one do to combat being too shy to admit one has to go to the bathroom? Any steps an adult can take? (self.AskReddit)
submitted 1 year ago by sexisg

This is my husband. He will literally hold himself close to wetting (because he is too shy to admit he has to go, and two has an immense pride attached to peeing) but when there is a sex component (ie watersports) he is completely fine. Anyone else see something funny about this?

[–]BreakerMark78 1 point 1 year ago 

If the problem is he is to shy to admit needing to pee, and not actually being too shy to pee, then thats not really a problem at all. He is a grown man, he doesnt have to admit needing to pee, just stand up and go. If there some sort of social component to it, a simple 'Excuse me' is more than sufficient.

[–]sexisg[S] 1 point 1 year ago 

I think its more that he literally won’t even excuse himself in social situations until he starts jumping around like a little kid, and even then sometimes I have to be the one to excuse him. He knows everyone knows but he is really weird about just actually going. It’s kind of difficult to explain.

Men of Reddit: Why is it a big deal for men to not admit that they have to go to the bathroom? (self.AskReddit)
submitted 1 year ago by Iliketopeepee
I have a SO that is so shy about this sort of thing that he literally will wait until he is about to wet himself before saying anything. He does this all the time. He says all men do it, and "bladder size is akin to penis size". Is this true?

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[–]e36 7 points 1 year ago* 

He says all men do it, and "bladder size is akin to penis size". Is this true?
Your SO is not correct.
Edit: source - I am a guy who knows a lot of other guys, and none of us have that hang-up.

[–]Iliketopeepee[S] 2 points 1 year ago 

It drives me crazy how often he says this. Like I don't care, just go to the bathroom.... He even says he is uncomfortable if I just know he has to go. Like goes out of his way to make sure I NEVER realize that he has to pee.

[–]sexisg 1 point 1 year ago 

Ok my husband does this sometimes. His reasoning is that its a pride thing. Like for example, we went on a roadtrip (about 8-9 hrs) and about halfway through I noticed he had to pee. You know like fidgeting, hand in the pocket when they think you aren't looking. Well, he didn't say anything, so I said I had to pee, and we ended up stopping. Now knowing that my husband had to pee I just expected him to discreetly use the excuse 'well we're already here' and go. He didn't. He spent the next 4 hours literally in pain with a distended stomach and didn't say anything. Get to the hotel we were staying at and he WOULD NOT pee until I was out of the room. I actually made up some excuse like going to get ice and waited outside the door until he was done peeing and heard the flush. I walk back in the room, and ask him why he was holding it for so long and he denied the whole thing. Then he proceeded to berate me that men should be capable of holding thier bladders and that if he didn't it made him less of a man or some shit. As an adult he holds himself close to wetting most of the time because he is too shy to admit he has to go. I know how frustrating this can be as a significant other even if just annoying. And we also have a daughter who has no problems, but my husband is crazy.

[–]My_name_is_Xavier 7 points 1 year ago 

Agree with the other responses. I have never heard of bladder size being correlated to penis size. And, for that matter, by the time you're a mentally healthy and well-adjusted grown up you should probably be over the whole "OMG PENIS SIZE" thing.

[–][deleted] 2 points 1 year ago 

Male Here: I've never heard of such a thing "bladder size is akin to penis size"... Now... I may not like to go if someone is WATHCING me or ??? (shy bladder) ;-) but that is a different story.

[–]Conchobair 1 point 1 year ago 

That's weird. The only thing I've heard about trying to hold it has to do when people are drinking booze, because once you "break the seal" by taking a pisss the first time, then you'll be have to be pissing more often while drinking.

[–]Hype_Man 1 point 1 year ago 

That's not normal. Tell him to just say "excuse me" and walk away. He doesn't have to tell everyone he's where he's going.

[–]sexisg 1 point 1 year ago 

This is what I've said to my husband and sometimes I will literally tell him, 'I think you had better excuse yourself' before he gets the hint. But I've never admitted that this is what I know he is doing and he has not said anything either.

[–][deleted] 1 point 1 year ago 

My husband does this too. But the weird part is that on an everyday basis he is like this, but lately he has been trying to get me into all sorts of watersports in bed. Literally he will not admit he has to pee for hours at a time and hold it until he can sneak away but as soon as a sex component comes up he has no problems with it.

[–]Iliketopeepee[S] 1 point 1 year ago 

He has done that before. Waited and waited until he's sitting somewhere and then he has to go so bad that he can't even get up. Drives me nuts. He literally waits to THE LAST SECOND and if I don't say something to him he will just keep on holding until he can sneak away with nobody noticing.
Brian
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Re: From Reddit: Too Shy to Admit It

Post by Brian »

I can relate to the problem and I share it to an extent, although with me it's sufficiently under control not to cause me serious problems.

Perhaps being too shy to admit it when you have to pee is related to being too shy to admit that you are too shy to admit it when you have to pee. (Clumsy sentence! - but I hope it makes sense.) That might explain why the responses to the questioner are only from people who can't understand the problem. Actually I think quite a lot of people suffer from it, but those people will be unlikely to admit it.

However, the questioner's husband has it particularly badly.

There might perhaps be a relationship between this particularly hang-up and paruresis, the inability to pee in a public toilet/bathroom or to provide a urine sample while being observed (for example in doping testing in the sporting world). I guess it's well known that lots of people suffer from paruresis.
Bowbow
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Re: From Reddit: Too Shy to Admit It

Post by Bowbow »

There are times I'm too shy to say I need to pee. I'll hold on until it is either urgent or someone says they need to go and I'll tag along nonchalantly like I'm being disturbed so I'll take a break too.

My pee buddy hates to ask and he will hold it to almost wetting before admitting, asking or going. He says the more desperate he gets the harder it is to ask.
Peecadilly
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Re: From Reddit: Too Shy to Admit It

Post by Peecadilly »

It always makes me feel bad when I notice that someone just won't say anything. It annoys me, too that it makes me feel sorry for them, I can't even enjoy their suffering in peace :roll:

Usually I will claim that I need to pee to give them a chance to go, too. So far no one's been so pee shy that they were unable to make use of that excuse.

I do think the husband(s) in question should talk to their wives because I understand why they're so frustrated.
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