Pissed Pants Stories

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Fred
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Joined: 20 Sep 2016, 12:37

Pissed Pants Stories

Post by Fred »

http://buckyville.yuku.com/reply/111268 ... UR8bEvGTLE

Excerpts from this site:

I take the last couple of sips from my train beer as I'm nearing my stop.  I gotta pee pretty bad but figure I can make it off the train and hold it for my 7-10 minute car drive home.

About a minute into the drive, Wham, it hits me.  I gotta pee f**king bad. Really bad.  Just one of those pees that just sorta hits you.  Of course there is only one stoplight I have to make it through and it turns red just before I make it through. F**k.

Make it home, park the car and waddle around the side of our fence near our driveway and let it rip.  I'm convinced if I tried to make it into the house I would have pissed my pants.

I have a college pissing story that I'll save for later.

**

This occurred on a college road trip from Madison to Ames...1993 I think. I was drinking beer in the back seat and really had to go. There were no proper establishments at which to stop and peeing in a bottle seemed too difficult, so we pulled off to the side of the road somewhere in Iowa. I knew I was going to be peeing for a long time, so I timed how long I went. IIRC, my time was 90 seconds of continuous urination. Peeing in pants avoided.

**

About 10 years ago, I was driving home (Central PA) from northern Jersey. I had finished up two days of boring training, so I was upping the caffeine intake. I bought a SuperSized Coke from McDonalds along the way. Right around the time when I finished the soda, my car's transmission died. I was just over an hour from home. Roadside assistance said the tow trucks were all dealing with the remnants of some ice storm Nor'easter, and couldn't get me for 4 hours.

My girlfriend at the time drove to pick me up. During the 90 minutes I waited for her, I refilled the SuperSize Cup twice, and dumped it into the snow next to the car. There's nothing like pissing into a McDonald's cup on the edge of a highway while the passing trucks make your car shake. Good times.

**

Never pissed myself; but a good friend--let's call him Paul--did so very recently. We were at party at a friend's house. Late at night, things are winding down, we're all outside in the backyard, drinking, carrying on. Host of the party's father is a captain-of-industry type--a real big deal. Paul--a bit loaded--gets into a conversation with the father about a business sector Paul's sort of an expert in and that the father is intrigued by. Paul, being intrigued with the father's intrigue--this is a great networking opportunity!!!--doesn't want to interrupt the conversation by going to take a leak. So instead, he pisses himself right there in the middle of the conversation... Luckily it's dark; perhaps the dad didn't notice?

**

Tailgate party in Madison about 5 years or so ago. Big one, kegs and such. I was drinking all day for a night game, lots of friends and family around, talking smart, etc., when it hit me that I had waited too long. The lines at the portas were 40 deep or worse. I knew I couldn't walk to a bar nearby, much less wait in line (shorter I would hope) after I walked there. So, I got between my car and my cousin's car, opened doors to create some barriers to avoid putting on a sad, criminal show. We had 14 oz Red Solo cups, and I thought I was pretty smart for grabbing 2 out of the trash bag. I'll relieve myself in these, dump them out in those bushes, and get back to it. That was all well and good until I topped off the first cup and quickly blasted the second to 1/2 capacity, realizing that I wasn't anywhere near done. Plan B. Cut off the stream, put down one cup, make myself decent, go out and empty the cups, come back and complete the mission. Another great idea defeated by reality, I could not stop the flow entirely, so I ended up wetting myself pretty good in the process. It wasn't like the dark-wet-stain-down-the-leg kind of wetting, but enough to be really uncomfortable. Luckily, we were staying over night in town and I had a bag with me, so after I finished the job, I hopped in the back of the SUV and changed my skivvies and jeans. Tragedy averted, but not without about 30 witnesses really enjoying the whole process and snapping a few photos.

**

San Diego airport. Dropping my sister off after Rose Bowl game number whatever. Was in a hurry since traffic was worse than anticipated and was getting too close to departure. No time to stop and now I'm dropping her off and I get out to get her luggage and a hug goodbye. Should have just asked her to wait with the car, but she takes off and I jump back in the car. I can't find a bottle in the vehicle. At this point my heart rate is screaming. Face is flush and probably starting to sweat. I make it over to Harbor Island Drive thinking I can find a place there. NOTHING! Nothing but people walking, jogging, riding bikes, etc. No toilets anywhere and I think at this point it's starting to dribble out. I get back on N Harbor Dr figuring I'll find something down the road a bit. TOO LATE. At this point I grabbed the floor mat, flip it over since it's rubber and just sit down and start pissing. Good lord! That warm sensation of sitting in your own piss!
Anyway I didn't get any piss on the car seats. I did have to stop for gas on the way home which was just another embarrassing situation. Thankfully by pants where dark and so it was hard to tell they were soaked.
**
Driving a state vehicle back from Bemidji I can feel the makings of a good sized piss building up. Pass a number of gas stations thinking I can make it a bit longer. Apparently not, and my bladder had reached maximum capacity. So I duck into what looks like a minimal traffic road to some lakeshore properties. Hop out and let loose. Wave to the first gentleman that drove by, then the nice elderly lady, then the full SUV.

Pissing on the side of the road, full uniform, next to a state vehicle with DNR sticker. Sigh.
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