1. I was walking along by the river near where I live, as has been the daily routine for pretty much the last 12 months. It was a warm day and there were more people around than usual and as I passed one of the small grassy areas, I passed four young men, one sitting on the grass, two sitting on a bench and one perched on a rail fence. They were all dressed as if they had been in work ... smart, suit-style trousers with open neck shirts, so maybe they been in one of the offices or possibly they had just been working from home and met up? But whatever, they were all drinking beer from cans. I took little notice and carried on walking.
When I returned along the same route around 45 minutes or so later, they were standing up ready to leave and I arrived just as they stepped out in front of me. I heard one of them reply to another, “there’s toilets just up by the entrance”. My ears pricked up a bit and so I walked just behind them. Not that close but close enough to hear what was being said. My attention was particularly aroused by the fact that I knew the toilets had been closed since the restrictions came into being.
As we got close to the toilet block, one of the lads veered away from the others and began to head for the building. One of the others called up, “they won’t be open” but the one who was heading towards them just carried on. He went down a couple of steps and pushed the door ... which, unsurprisingly, was firmly locked. He went to walk around the side and one of the others called out again, “the disabled one will be locked as well”, to which the needy one yelled back, “I’ll try, I need a piss!”
Of course, it was locked as well and as the other thee just carried on walking, the lad had who tried the doors came back up onto the path and started walking behind them. Quite surprisingly, none of the others even turned around to look at him and they all carried on walking, with him trailing behind, for a good 100 yards or so until we reached the road.
Even then, the others only glanced back a couple of times but he made no real attempt to catch them up and as we walked along the road, I could see him keep looking fleetingly from side to side, obviously trying to see if there was anywhere he could go. The walk is about a mile, with houses either side, and he kept glancing all around him, with his mates still in front of him.
We were about halfway when all of a sudden, he looked to his right and quickly darted down an alleyway, but as quickly as he had nipped down there, he re-emerged, having obviously seen something that had made him realise he couldn’t use it as an emergency toilet. Unfortunately, I had just passed the alleyway, so he was now slightly behind me and we all carried on walking. I couldn’t see him any more although a couple of times I glanced back and he was still frantically looking from side to side, now on the opposite side of the road.
Eventually, we got to the bottom of the road where it turned onto a main street and his mates, who kept looking back but doing nothing else, turned into the busy street. But it was then that I made the most unfortunate of moves!!
Partly in order to steal a look at him, I crossed over the road and as I looked back I could see him walking all stiff-legged and slightly less upright than previously. He had his thumb hooked in his trouser pocket with the palm of his hand in front of his crotch area... not exactly holding himself or pressed tightly, but more like a protective shield!
I’m guessing he was in severe discomfort, to put it mildly, because as I crossed the road he darted behind me, onto the side I had just left, and almost bulldozed through a large gap in the mesh fencing leading to a small batch of trees, which I think was actually someone’s garden.
If only I had stopped on the pretext of looking at my phone or something like that, in front of the gap, would he have still dashed into it, or would he have even seen it! I cursed my misfortune because another 10 yards and he’d have been in the busy high street. As I looked back briefly I could see the side of him standing behind a tree, with his head back and looking skywards, and no doubt pissing away like a racehorse.
I was a long way down the road when he came briskly walking along and eventually passed me and caught up with his mates.
But if only I’d stopped and stood still. What could have happened?
2. The second incident was not a sighting, but just a comical comment. Although it quite turned me on!
I was walking along a nearby street and saw an elderly man who I have often spoken to, doing some gentle gardening work in his front garden. I stopped and chatted with (from a safe distance!) and we had been there for a few minutes when the dustmen began walking along and emptying the bins. The elderly man saw them and commented and then said to me, “I used to let these lads use my toilet, before my daughter stopped me doing it when all this virus business got serious”.
No sooner had he said it than one of the dustmen, a young lad who was probably in his mid-twenties, came over to collect the rubbish bag, and the elderly man called over, “So what are you lot doing about having a wee now?”
The lad looked over and said, “We have to go in our pants!” ... and looked and me and winked!!
The elderly man didn’t really take any notice and just carried on chatting to me as the dustmen went on their way.
Only a throwaway comment, I know. But it did get my thoughts racing.
Nothing especially exciting I know, but better than nothing!