The Monastery

[Fred]

A story I started years ago and never developed:

The Monastery

It was the year 1415, and the Order of the Spirits had prospered. Over the years, the monastery had grown to an enormous edifice of stone, the surrounding wasteland had become vast vineyards and fields of grain, and the Brothers of the Spirits had learned the arts of winemaking and brewing beer. Their skills had proven to be immensely profitable.

Labor for these enterprises was provided by local lads who had committed sinful behavior, as determined by their village priest - with some prompting from the Abbot. Two years of hard labor and absolute obedience would absolve those sins, the lads were told, so there was no shortage of young men to work in the vineyards and the fields. Those who chose to remain in the Order after their two year penance might be allowed into the mysteries of the creation of wine and beer.

Despite the monastery's wealth, they still attended to their religious duties. Five canonical hours were observed, and to insure that all the monks and initiates attended, the latrines were locked until the prayers were complete, and then only those in the chapel could proceed to relieve themselves in the ornately-carved commodes. Matins tended to be hurried as the brothers struggled to contain their night's fluids, but Lauds and Sext were longer and more meaningful, though not always as well attended. The younger men might be at one or the other, but not both. Vespers, on the other hand, might be as brief as Matins and would have all in attendance, since the Good Brothers had not seen the latrines since the noon hour. Some of the more vain or foolhardy young lads might omit Compline, but the penalty for wet bed linen was severe.

The Abbot and his assistants would not consider it greed, but they had an eye to increase their profits. To that end they opened a public house just outside the gates of the monastery, where their fine wines and beers were served, along with good foods. It was a great success. One small silver coin would buy a bottle of wine, and two coppers a ewer of beer. Knights, merchants and even nobles would come and spend an evening - and their coins - for an evening of pleasure. Rules of the Order prohibited serving wenches, but some of the initiates volunteered to work in the public house.

Still, the Abbot hoped to wring still more from the activity. He called his advisors together after Sext to discuss it.

"What brings our clients to the pub?" the good Abbot asked. "What do they do?"

"They drink," replied burly Brother Matthew.

"They eat," added tall, red-haired Brother Luke.

"They fool with the initiates," volunteered short, dark Brother Ichabod with an impish grin.

"And they all piss!" the Abbot concluded with a laugh. The others chuckled.

"The area around the public house stinks with their piss, and that is not good for business. Now, I propose that we have access to just one latrine, and that its use require a coin. Just a single copper, not much."

"There have been times when I'd have paid a handful of gold for a piss," Brother Ichabod said.

They all laughed at that.

So an addition was built onto the pub containing a narrow latrine with an office next to it. A discreet viewing port pierced the wall between them. New rules were posted: Use of the latrine would cost one small copper. Once a patron exited the building he could not return, and any man found pissing outside would be arrested and fined.

At first there was grumbling about paying to piss, but the fee was small and the monastery public house was the only vendor of their delicious wines and beers. Because the latrine accommodated only one man at a time, a line would form late in the evenings, with patrons jigging and grabbing themselves as they waited their turn. Occasionally a man would have an accident in his trousers because he put off too long getting in line, and that invariably resulted in laughter and catcalls. The office with the viewing port was very popular with the monks.

[Tytn]

An excellent start to the tale.

Oddly enough, I have a variant on this but only the first chapter and it is not yet completed or fleshed out even... We shall see what times allow for me to work that one.

I shall check in regularly for an update on this!!

[greatwater]

I love it, Fred. Great idea. I love imagining about these old buildings too, though I write not as brilliantly as you.

[Brian]

Even modern-day monasteries are probably pretty regimented, I guess, and monks are by no means always free to relieve themselves whenever they need to. A fifteenth century setting must be all the more promising for having those brothers getting themselves into desperately awkward situations. I'd love to read more if you get your writing urge back, Fred.