Hugh Jackman

[Fred]

On-camera or on-stage desperation is about as public as it gets, and the weatherman video clip reminded me of the report by Hugh Jackman of when he peed himself onstage. Oddly enough I just ran into the Ladspissing post here, but both the network and the YouTube links are no longer valid. There was, however, a printed report of the interview, edited here:

HUGH JACKMAN: But I actually, three months into the run, was experiencing these headaches, and Deb was right into this naturopath. And Deb's always in for some alternative method of health. And so I went to the naturopath, who instantly cured me by saying, "You're dehydrated. You're doing the show, you're working out for the show, and you're just not drinking enough water. You must drink about two litres a day."

Well, I'm pretty good with taking direction, so on the first day, I drank about four litres of water. He warned me not to drink after 5pm because you'd be up all night. So he says, "After 5pm, just sip," you know? So up till 5pm, I drank four litres of water. So I go onstage that night, I'm going down into the wings, and I'm, like, "I need to go to the bathroom really badly." So I quickly run up to the bathroom. I go to the toilet. I think, "Well, everything's fine." Well, apparently, as I've realised now, the not-so-medical term of 'breaking the seal'. I don't know if you've heard that. But when you go to the toilet...

ANDREW DENTON: I've only ever heard that in terms of bestiality, but...

HUGH JACKMAN: (Laughs) Well, if you've ever had a few beers, right, and you go to the bathroom, all of a sudden, 15 minutes later, you're dying to go again. You think, "How does this happen? I've just been."

Anyway, I'd gone to the bathroom. 15 minutes later, I happen to be onstage singing a song which is incredibly tough physically, and a real work-out, as I'm singing, I'm picking up Belle, I'm dragging her on my shoulder, we're walking across stage, we're dancing. So as I'm going onstage, I'm going, "I can't believe it. I need to go again, then I'll be fine." So I get into the first verse and I'm, like, "I really need to go." So I'm sort of holding on, but of course I realise at that point that the same muscles you use to hold on you need to release when you're actually gonna...when you're actually singing.

ANDREW DENTON: Oh, no.

HUGH JACKMAN: I have a few big belting notes in this song. And I pick up Belle and I'm carrying her across, and as I'm carrying, I realise, "Oh, my God. I think I've just wet my pants," just a little bit, right? And I managed to hold onto it. But by holding onto it and stopping the flow, shall we speak, I also stopped the note, so I was, like, "Oh, my God. It's piss your pants or sing. This is my 'Sophie's Choice'."

ANDREW DENTON: (Laughs)

HUGH JACKMAN: So I'm holding on, doing a very truncated version of the song, very Rex Harrison, just speaking it. (Sings) "You've been dreaming just one dream..."

And I get to the end note, which is a long F sharp, top of my range, big, belting, front centre stage, and I knew it was one or the other. And as I let go and I let rip with the note, alas, phew...out it came. And I figured, "What the hell?" I wasn't gonna miss the note. I'm too competitive, you know? I had all these people out there who'd paid their money. So...it was a long note and it was an extended period of urination as well, let me tell you. And, of course, what I didn't tell you is my costume is red tights.

ANDREW DENTON: Oh, no.

HUGH JACKMAN: Yeah. And I immediately finished the note and I turn upstage - I'm meant to, of course, stand there. I turn upstage, I look down - nothing, absolutely nothing. Of course, I realise these tights are a little bit thick, so I thought, "Maybe they're like a wetsuit." I thought, "I'm gonna end up with a bootful of piss but at least I'm not gonna be humiliated." Anyway, so I kind of very cavalierly carried on the scene thinking, "I can't believe what I've just done. No-one in the audience knows." And I walk offstage and there's my dresser with this look on her face like this... (Imitates shocked expression)

HUGH JACKMAN: I said, "What?" And I looked down. In that two minutes of being cavalier, it had spread right across my groin, my thighs, as far as the eye could see, pretty much. So, somehow, in that two minutes afterwards, the audience must've been going, "What the hell is going on up there?" So I would have to say that is the most humiliating moment. But, funnily enough, I don't mind retelling it. What does that tell you?

[Brian]

This has always been my favourite celebrity confession. Thanks Fred for unearthing this one again! I've always wondered how much the audience actually saw. Maybe those who did notice the wet tights simply dismissed it in their minds as too ridiculous to be really true, like "I can't really be seeing Hugh Jackman wet himself on stage, no-one else seems to be seeing that, so my eyes are deceiving me."

[Fred]

"But, funnily enough, I don't mind retelling it. What does that tell you?"

That tells me that Hugh Jackman is, at least somewhat, "one of us". I'll bet that he's been bursting full on other public occasions and has enjoyed holding it in the best macho tradition. Since this "accident" was public, he had the opportunity to explain it away.