The Real Estate Investor

[jdoewest]

A close friend (who I'll call Rob) who is a real estate agent recently recounted an incidence that I thought the group might find interesting.

Recently, on a crisp, cloudy day, my friend met a new client to tour some properties. The client was a successful real estate investor from a couple hours away who specialized in purchasing distressed apartment buildings. He had a team that would rehab and renovate these buildings, then he would either sell them for a profit or rent the apartments.

The investor fit the stereotypical image, arriving a few minutes late in a flashy sports car, wearing trendy clothes, and an expensive watch. He drank a big tumbler of coffee. Apparently my friend Rob and his new client actually hit it off splendidly as they visited several dilapidated apartment complexes around town that were for sale.

Rob is a talker and so was the client; they kept up a lively banter, mostly about various nuisances of real estate, zoning, finance, property management, etc. They got to the fourth property just before noon. It was a two story apartment complex built around a central concrete courtyard with a small landscaped lawn in the center that was now badly overgrown. The building was empty and in pretty bad shape, but not quite a tear down-- just the sort the property the investor was looking for. After looking over the place extensively, Rob and his client descended a staircase into the courtyard. They were chatting about tax breaks afforded to real estate investors when the client casually unzipped his pants and walked a couple of feet to the overgrown central lawn. He kept talking about the tax code as he casually pissed a massive stream into the scraggly bushes and shrubs, not acknowledging his action in any way. My friend was initially surprised, but not wanting to upset the client in anyway, he just stood there as if nothing was happening and kept chatting. In retrospect, he said it didn't matter as the courtyard was completely unseen from the street, and he and his client were the only ones in the building, but he did note that it was simply the abrupt unexpectedness of the act and the client's nonchalant, totally comfortable attitude that threw him off guard. "I guess all that coffee had to go somewhere!" Rob said to me. He never had a client just whip it out like that and piss right in the middle of touring a property.

After he was finally done, the client turned towards Rob, gave his impressive member several shakes and then stuffed it back into this pants, again still continuing their conversation as if nothing had happened. The rest of the day was uneventful, and the client did end up buying the property. Rob laughed when he told me this, "Talk about marking your territory!"

[Brian]

One question which lingers in my mind after reading this interesting account is whether it would have been correct etiquette for Rob to have responded by unzipping his own pants and joining his client in the action, or whether that would have been a no-no. Did the flashy guy's status as client mean that he should be the only one who should have that luxury, or would he have appreciated the solidarity of not being the only one to pee?

[Fred]

Consistent with the flashy sports car, the trendy clothes and the expensive watch, the client was demonstrating his macho dominance by displaying his member and "marking his territory". If Rob had joined him, that might have been interpreted as being competitive, so it was just as well that he didn't.

[Brian]

Consistent with the flashy sports car, the trendy clothes and the expensive watch, the client was demonstrating his macho dominance by displaying his member and "marking his territory". If Rob had joined him, that might have been interpreted as being competitive, so it was just as well that he didn't.

I guess you're right. What a minefield these all-male situations can be.