England Cricketer Freddie Flintoff Wets Himself

[Lee]

(I posted this on the old board, but it didn't get moved over, so here it is again!)

“Come on Freddie, there’s no way on earth you can be late for this one, in fact you’re going to have to be in position well in advance. It’s called protocol, you know!”

Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff turned towards the young man who seemed to have taken control of events and flinched slightly as an older woman stepped forwards and flattened the lapel on his jacket whilst gently brushing the shoulder of his jacket several times to presumably remove any settling dust.

The televised presentation ceremony to celebrate England’s Ashes victory in the recent cricket test match series promised to be a pompous occasion with the opening event being the arrival of HRH Prince William to be greeted by the esteemed members of the MCC. Ten members had been selected to meet the Prince along with Andrew Flintoff, in recognition of his achievements with the England team over the years and also to mark the end of his international playing days, before His Royal Highness would later meet the rest of the team on a more informal basis.
The line-up was being held in the Long Room at Lords Cricket club and the preparations had been meticulous. Those fortunate enough to be selected were already taking their places in line even although there was still thirty minutes before the Prince’s scheduled arrival time.

Freddie was more nervous than he had ever been in his playing days. In truth he hated such pomp and ceremony and all this waiting around. His nervousness was making him sweat slightly and as he shifted his feet uncomfortably he also became aware that his bladder was more than a bit full. With a heart-thumping moment of anxiety he glanced round searching for the toilet but saw nothing to lessen his pulse-rate.

“Excuse me mate” he beckoned the young organiser towards him, “where’s the nearest gents, I need a pee.”
“You are joking, at least I hope you are,” replied the startled-looking chap, “didn’t you read the guidance note that was sent to you?”

Freddie felt his face colour slightly as he shook his head. Despite his wife’s prompting he hadn’t bothered to read all that rigmarole, other than the times to arrive and the dress code.

The young man continued, “You can’t go to the toilet once you’re in here, we told everyone that. For a start there’s no toilets in this building other than the one at the bar area and as we explained, for a royal visitor such as the Prince, the toilet made available for him to use is strictly out of bounds for anyone else...”

“But, I’m going to have to...” started Freddie
“...and I mean anyone else, no exceptions!” came the forceful reply, “If you try and use that toilet you’ll blow all the security arrangements out of the water.”

Freddie felt himself get redder, partly because the conversation had been over-head by a few of the older MCC members and also because his pounding heart started telling him that he was in a real predicament. With his voice almost at a whisper, he spoke with even greater urgency.

“Look, I’m going to have to go for a pee...somewhere, anywhere, there’s got to be something you can do, I’ll never last out until the end of this thing, seriously. I’m already dying for one” adding “Please!”
“Sorry,” came back the response, almost dismissive of the situation, “that’s why we send out all that pre-event guidance. We made it perfectly clear that once in here, there was no possible way that anyone could leave to go to the toilet or for any other reason.”

Freddie felt like grabbing the young bloke by the collar but instead tried to calm himself down and urged a sense of reason.
“Listen, I know about the rules and stuff but I’m not sure you understand my predicament. I am bursting for the toilet, really bursting. To make things worse, I’ve had to take some tablets to ease the pain after my recent operation on my knee, and they seem to have a diuretic effect on me, especially if I’ve had any alcohol too.”
“You’ve been drinking?” asked the young man.
“Well, not drinking as such” Freddie lowered his voice even more, “but I did have a beer in the bar before coming in. I thought there’d be a toilet in here?”
“Oh well, you’ve two options” said the organiser, getting ready to move away, “you can either walk away now and miss the event, but how’s that going to look in front of the press and television? Can you imagine the headlines? “Freddie snubs the Prince to have a pee”. Or you can try and concentrate on something else to take your mind off it, but don’t forget the rest of the protocol, will you?” and with that, he almost skipped away to deal with something else.

Freddie stood there looking embarrassed and feeling panic-stricken “Shit!” he thought to himself, “What can I do? I’ll never last out. I just can’t last another hour, no way. What am I going to do if I can’t wait?”
“You okay Andrew old boy,” said an elderly MCC member, startling Freddie back to reality, “you look a touch frayed. It is all a bit too much, isn’t it?”
“I need the toilet, desperately.” Freddie had already uttered the words before he realised it.
“Oh dear, that’s not so good,“ the old chap continued, “we can’t leave the room until HRH has departed. Still, at least you’re a youngster so you’ll be alright, not like us old ‘uns.” and he laughed as he turned away.
“Oh God”, Freddie muttered to himself, “I’m not okay, I’m seriously going to have a piss!”

“TV coverage to commence any minute now, there’ll be coming across for some occasional live shots!” came another loud announcement as more movement and urgent shuffling of bodies took place.

Twenty minutes later and with everyone standing in line awaiting the arrival of Prince William in the long room, Freddie Flintoff was standing in turmoil. Sweat was trickling down the sides of his face and on his forehead in the intensity of the heat in the room. But his condition was due less to the temperature and as much to the pain in his belly. The dull ache had long since been replaced by a constant pressure and in the last couple of minutes by constant stabbing pains that made him almost want to bend forwards.

There had been many occasions in his life when he had needed to pee like a racehorse but never had he experienced such anxious desperation that he had wanted to clutch himself like a little child. His churning tummy was flipping over and over and suddenly he felt a spasm that required all his will-power not to cross his legs or at least squeeze his thighs together. With the beads of sweat stinging his eyes, he glanced to his left as the young man (now revealed as Jason) announced, “Gentlemen, His Royal Highness the Prince William has arrived outside and will be escorted into the building shortly. We anticipate his arrival with us in approximately six minutes, right on cue”.

There was a murmur of excitement and anticipation but Freddie felt an indescribable depth of panic as he agonisingly stepped forwards slightly. Within seconds, Jason was in front of him, anxiously ushering him back to his standing position.
“I need the toilet” Freddie could hardly muster the energy to utter the words, so conscious was he that every ounce of strength was needed to control his bladder.
“Not again” sighed Jason, “we’ve been through this before.”
Hardly believing what he was hearing coming from own mouth, Freddie groaned, “I’m going to wet myself!”

Jason looked stunned and the two elderly gents standing either side of Flintoff both turned their heads with mouths agape.
Before anyone could say any more, Freddie let out a little moan “Aarrgghh” and bent forwards slightly at the waist whilst crossing his legs at the knees, lifting one foot from the floor. He managed to avoid the humiliation of gripping his dick before standing upright again and pressing his legs tightly together.
“Freddie!” snapped Jason, “the television cameras will catch you, stop it!”
“I can’t help it!” groaned Freddie “I’m about to piss myself!”
“Fuck!” said Jason, “the Prince is here!”

“Oh God, I’m going to piss my trousers, I’m just going to do it in my pants standing here!” Freddie was beside himself in panic as the door of the Long Room opened and the small musical quartet at the door struck up the national anthem as everyone stood upright, glancing to their left as Prince William appeared at the door, flanked by numerous aides. As the anthem came to a conclusion, the line of those to be presented were all standing proudly to attention, many of the older generation beaming with pride at their fortune in being selected,

In the midst of them, 31-year old Freddie Flintoff was standing trembling with his entire midriff encompassed in a numbness that had all but replaced the stabbing belly pains. The streams of warm wetness that had trickled down his right thigh and beyond his knee were invisible to everyone else, but the constant little spurts from his twitching cock into his pants were threatening to give way to a deluge resembling a tsunami flooding through his suit trousers. By the time the Prince had stopped to speak to one of the members standing just two places down from Freddie, that nightmare scenario had become the most awful reality.

National cricketing hero Freddie was standing in the midst of the Lords Long Room wetting himself. The little spurts and trickles had long since been replaced by a continuous stream of powerful urine, emerging from his limp cock like a full-strength garden hose. The streams down the insides of both of his legs were in equal proportions and gathering warmth and wetness as far down as his ankles. There was no constant jet firing through his grey suit trousers, but the scorching piss was finding numerous escape routes at various exits from his crotch right down to his lower legs beyond his knees with trickles and cascades wetting the outside of his trouser-legs and dribbling and dripping onto the wooden floor. Swallowing as if he had a cricket ball lodged in his throat, Freddie couldn’t help but glance down, expecting to see his exploding heart erupt through his chest but instead seeing only small wraiths of steam rising up from his shoes and his socks.

As he lifted his head again to face front, his eyes met with Prince William who instantly directed his own gaze downwards to see the pool gathering pace around Freddie’s feet and the shiny darkness spreading down the legs of his trousers. The Prince glanced up again, looking directly into Freddie’s face and as their eyes met, both flicked their eyes sideways in a mixture of shame and embarrassment before Freddie felt the Prince’s hand gently touch his arm and heard the words, “Well played Andrew, we’ve...erm...always enjoyed watching your performances...”

And with that, the Prince looked to the floor again, almost in anticipation that what he had just seen had been some sort of mirage, but the steaming puddle was now huge and threatening to trickle and snake out across more of the floor. As he moved away down the line, Freddie was aware that all other eyes on the room appeared to be on his own lower body and as he felt the flow subside he became acutely aware of his sagging and saturated underpants now becoming colder with dribbles still streaming down his wet legs and his thick grey socks damp in his clammy shoes, the puddle of his piss evident to all in the aftermath of him wetting himself.

The next day’s press headlines hardly bared contemplation!!

[Brian]

"...always enjoyed watching your performances..."

Poor guy, though!

It's been a very long time since I've read this one and I've enjoyed reading it again. A scene of maximum embarrassment, isn't it? Thank you, Lee.

[Fred]

I'm sure that Prince William well knows the problems of having a full bladder during a formal occasion, so his light comment is quite plausible. Had it been Prince Harry, I suspect that the remark would have been even more memorable...

[Lee]

I'm sure that Prince William well knows the problems of having a full bladder during a formal occasion, so his light comment is quite plausible. Had it been Prince Harry, I suspect that the remark would have been even more memorable...

Definitely! I could almost have visions of Prince Harry leaning close to unfortunate Freddie, and whispering, "Don't worry, I did that at a Remembrance Day event!!"