The Parade

[Tytn]

Outside the carpark was full. Not long ago they had had a complete refurbishment. This meant that it had been transformed with freshly laid tarmac, wooden panels around the edges and some barriers placed near the regular trip hazards, thanks to what the inebriated locals had tested under Health & Safety guises.

Now, the column was lined up in 3 rows, with link points marked at each end coupled with a few from the staggered groups to help them line up too. The military spread out using most of the centre area, with the other voluntary organisations taking the front sections. One of the ‘march organisers’ moved a few sections around until he was happy with the results, then everyone straightened up

“Guards! At Ease!” followed by
“Guards! Guards. Atte’Shun’ “

As one, the military forces present straightened their pose then snapped to attention, straight and strong, and perfect uniforms, for each of the units. The officer at the front of the 110th Unit seemed to be in charge and, like all the others, displayed his medals over his chest, shined well but still subdued for the event. The officer looked over his group in silence then called out, his voice clear and strong

“Prepare to move off. Remain in formation. Command to follow will be ‘Eyes Right’ and then ‘Salute’. Best behaviour lads, we’re among our local heroes” the officer beamed.
“Sunglasses off! This isn’t top gun!!” he glared at the offending individuals until they removed their shades and coloured slightly at being brought up.

Then himself came to attention and turned a 180’ spin before standing stock still.

The village was out to watch, people lined the rails, either side, to watch. The military unit remained at attention, as the column started to slowly leave. Slow at first but then as each section and part of the group moved off, the officers bought up the rear from those groups. Finally, the Military group, as one, moved off together.

Although their steps were short to start with, as things spread out they all shuffled to get back into step with the leader. The military formation was precise and looked good. They spread out from their compression and whilst the front were already on the main road, the rear were marching on the spot, but in time.

The youth organisations just shuffled but admired the troops for their precision, and then, they were out. Once onto the road it was right out of the small housing estate, and right at the mini roundabout. Even the work crews that had closed the road now looked smart. Their van, relatively clean, with their amber strobes and flashing lights refracting off the medals, blocked the road to prevent those that had ignored the bollards not to get past.

By the time the last of the group had stepped out of the carpark, the parade was over 150 meters long and whilst the military marched, the rest just walked, but more formal that they usually would. It was an impressive streak of colour, but the village as out in strength. More to see the parade passing than to appreciate the reasons.

Once at the church, the group formed up and the flag bearers were extracted from the group and led inside, whilst the sections were ‘fallen out’ in their progressive groups

One of the 110th lads looked around. He hissed to his mate who had worn the sunglasses, another his age who was always ‘fashionable’ and a role model.
“Hey Charlie, any loo’s around here”
“Don’t be silly, it’s a church. You’d need to find the church hall”
“Dammit” was the hissed reply “Any chance you can cover whilst I…”
“Don’t even think about it” was the reply. “You should have…”
“Yeah yeah, I know, but I had to speak to the old major and I got him a mug of tea”
“And yourself one”
“Of course, it’s tea”
“Lad, most of us had a small cup” piped in another whisper nearby, Rob just blanched and recalled his choice of vessel for the tea that now reminded him. As he was now walking out of formation he was allowed what he did next and Charlie caught the movement, and the eyes betrayed the unspoken word that he should not let the RSM catch him even touching himself there or he will be for the chop. It was ‘disrespectful’ even though the brief squeeze of his instrument felt good when he had to go.

They stepped inside the old church. It was not a grand one, but was still slightly warmer than outside and he had a program thrust into his hand as he slipped past. They shuffled down the aisle and then on direction, stepped into a line and sat next to his mate Charlie and another.

Some released the tightness of their tunics, kept to keep the cold at bay, and he wondered if he could release his belt by a notch but he knew he couldn’t really. It would be spotted by the RSM and it wouldn’t look at good. He had to keep his uniform pristine. He really shouldn’t have had that mug.

It took a while for the service to start up, and after a short reading, the hymns started. The singing was abysmal and it was clear the locals were holding back to let the soldiers use their voice for the hymns which never came. He tried but others did not and he felt almost embarrassed about that. He hissed to Charlie to tell the others to sing and he soon had the reply that most did not know the words. His reply was sarcastic
“The booklet has the words, but we need to sing, it’s letting the side down” But as his information was being passed along another message from the RSM overtook his with the same thing. The RSM caught his eye and with a slight smile nodded. He had been noticed, and his care on that instance may be a positivize thing but all he could think of was getting out to find a privy. That tea really wanted out. He just changed his standing position and tried to think of other things.

[Brian]

This is really well written. And now I'm on tenterhooks to know whether this good impression which Rob has made to the superior officers is going to survive the rest of the proceedings.

[Lee]

This is great, can't wait for the rest...

[Fred]

This is great, can't wait for the rest...

Hold on, Lee. You can always wait longer than you think you can.

Although many old churches in the UK predate the oldest in the US, they share certain characteristics. Constructed long before indoor plumbing, they initially offered a privy somewhere behind the building, and when modern sanitation became more common, rather than tamper with antiquity, a lone toilet might be installed in some corner of the cellar. Or better, facilities would be found in a new church activities hall next door, but not convenient for anyone to just casually nip in for a quick pee. Services rarely lasted more than an hour, so it was not a big problem. In the village there might be a pub or convenience store with a public toilet, but only available to customers when open for business.

Not a good setup for large numbers of participants in lengthy celebrations, like a parade….

[Brian]

Just to add to Fred's comments about churches, without wishing to lead us too far from Tytn's story:

My partner was once playing the church organ for a family member's wedding and was practising before the wedding service when a group of young male wedding guests in their smart suits came in early. One of the guys walked up to my partner at the organ and asked him if there was a toilet anywhere. My partner didn't have to respond because the guy's friends immediately laughed, said something like "of course not, this is a church" and teased him for thinking there might be a facility. So the guy then said that he'd have to go outside and find a tree to pee behind, which he did.

[burstingguys]

I could write a whole book of short stories on that kind of situation @brian