I spend so much time on public transport that I feel I should be seeing more desperate guys than I am.
I saw a guy on a train once when we were already entering the station and it took ages because there were two trains in front of us. I'd already got up to stand by the door, not realising that it would be another five minutes when we were 50 metres from the platform. Although I should've, it's a large and busy station and happens all the time. He was standing by the door as well and at first I just thought he was annoyed because things weren't moving but I did notice that he leaning into his hip, looking weirdly cramped. He was probably in his early 30s, grey suit, smart, not really handsome but fashionable enough that you wouldn't notice he wasn't. Unless you were staring at him for 5 minutes because you're admiring his desperate state
Interestingly enough, we were standing about 2 metres away from a perfectly fine toilet. Not out of order or anything and while train toilets aren't fun I would prefer them over wetting myself. I will never know why he didn't use it. He was still looking pissed off and staring out of the window with a clenched jaw when he started with a most interesting holding technique.
He formed a V with his index and middle finger like he was going to flip me off but instead he shoved them in his crotch with what looked like quite a bit of force and aggressively curled and uncurled them a few times before giving things a wiggle and ripping them away again. It looked like he was framing things in between his fingers. All the while he didn't acknowledge me or what he was doing at all, he kept staring out of the window. He kept repeating this in irregular intervals and after the first time he started to look pale and clammy but didn't otherwise move. We were holding on to the same pole as it was the only one there, so I had a good view and I was looking rather openly, I was quite convinced he wouldn't call me out on it.
He didn't and apart from his little hand move he remained stoic. The only time I thought he might lose it was when the train began to move to crawl the rest of the way to the platform, which still took another two minutes. He really dug in his fingers then and curled them frantically, doing a curl-wiggle-curl-wiggle thing when before the wiggle had always been the last thing he did before taking his hand away again. He returned to the calmer rhythm for the last two minutes, maybe reaching down another 5 times.
When the train stopped I was the one to reach for the button to open the door and when it did that was the first time he looked at me as he stepped away from the pole and finally gave himself a proper squeeze in mid-step. It was all one fluid motion, happening much faster than it looks written down. He was giving me a very reproachful look indeed, also angry and embarrassed. He shook out his hand as he got off the train and was then swept up by the crowds and I could only see the back of his head anymore.
I did follow him but gave him quite a headstart and there were lots of people in between us. I just saw him ride down an escalator and walk briskly towards the toilets. If only I was a man and could've followed him inside! Then again, I don't think I would've had the nerve to do that and it would've been a bit mean.