After 1 AM
Posted: 28 Mar 2021, 21:30
The bars close at 12:45 in my town on the weekend.
Never enough Ubers for all the patrons. The guys always let the girls take them first.
“I’ll call another.”
Now it’s 15 past 1am. Small groups of college hunks and studs (with the occasional geek) line the avenue all still waiting for a ride.
And then it starts: the beer hits hard and by 1:30 a number of the lads realize that they absolutely must get to a toilet.
First that anxious glance around, the grab of the tackle, the realization that no, there is no cover, no privacy, no alley, just brightly lit sidewalks and other men with equally dire needs.
Then the thought of the 30 minute ride back to campus. The holy-shit-I'm-seriously-gonna-piss-my-pants look. The sitting down on the curb to ease that frantic feeling overwhelming their cock.
The frat seniors are shameless, prepared, rustling up cans and bottles to gush into beneath their jackets while they laugh and jostle each other.
And the guys who just can’t wait…. The guys who are totally fucked….
The 20 year old bros with fake ID's who have never had to hold back a bladder full of Stout and pilsner.
Dancing, unbuckling their belts, asking the other men if they know where a guy can take a fucking leak.
Hobbling to their Uber and immediately asking if they can pull off at the next fast food joint they find.
The stunning birthday Lad (big “21!” pin on his pressed shirt) bouncing in place. The extra birthday drinks threatening to soak his new kicks.
He bobs and bounces back to the bar entrance. The bouncer says no, the bar AND toilets are closed.
“I’m BUSTIN mate. Please dude, I can’t-”
His friends try and help his case.
"He had 3 beers after his last piss mate, he can't hold it."
And they are right - when he gets up from the curb 10 minutes later his trousers look as if he's been to the beach. Fully flooded front and back with fresh yellow piss. He stands shivering for all to see as the kind driver finds a towel in the trunk for him to sit on.
These are the guys who learn what it is to be a man. For though nearly every summer a fair few lads don't make it, they always return wiser and stronger - ready to hold their beer for as long as the situation requires.
Never enough Ubers for all the patrons. The guys always let the girls take them first.
“I’ll call another.”
Now it’s 15 past 1am. Small groups of college hunks and studs (with the occasional geek) line the avenue all still waiting for a ride.
And then it starts: the beer hits hard and by 1:30 a number of the lads realize that they absolutely must get to a toilet.
First that anxious glance around, the grab of the tackle, the realization that no, there is no cover, no privacy, no alley, just brightly lit sidewalks and other men with equally dire needs.
Then the thought of the 30 minute ride back to campus. The holy-shit-I'm-seriously-gonna-piss-my-pants look. The sitting down on the curb to ease that frantic feeling overwhelming their cock.
The frat seniors are shameless, prepared, rustling up cans and bottles to gush into beneath their jackets while they laugh and jostle each other.
And the guys who just can’t wait…. The guys who are totally fucked….
The 20 year old bros with fake ID's who have never had to hold back a bladder full of Stout and pilsner.
Dancing, unbuckling their belts, asking the other men if they know where a guy can take a fucking leak.
Hobbling to their Uber and immediately asking if they can pull off at the next fast food joint they find.
The stunning birthday Lad (big “21!” pin on his pressed shirt) bouncing in place. The extra birthday drinks threatening to soak his new kicks.
He bobs and bounces back to the bar entrance. The bouncer says no, the bar AND toilets are closed.
“I’m BUSTIN mate. Please dude, I can’t-”
His friends try and help his case.
"He had 3 beers after his last piss mate, he can't hold it."
And they are right - when he gets up from the curb 10 minutes later his trousers look as if he's been to the beach. Fully flooded front and back with fresh yellow piss. He stands shivering for all to see as the kind driver finds a towel in the trunk for him to sit on.
These are the guys who learn what it is to be a man. For though nearly every summer a fair few lads don't make it, they always return wiser and stronger - ready to hold their beer for as long as the situation requires.