Lads Pissing

This sighting is from back in the year 2000 but still sticks with me to this day.

A slightly unusual marathon was taking place in one of the Northern provinces here in The Netherlands. Unlike most races, it was a "point-to-point" race which meant that its start and finish were a long way away from each other. We had to assemble in the finish area first, make sure we were already to start the race there, and then we were taken altogether in a convoy of hired-in buses to the start. They were public transport buses, needless to say, with no facilities on board!

I remember that we had to board the buses in our running kit and then were kept waiting a long time before they actually set off. Meanwhile we were all hydrating from our water and energy drink bottles as we sat and waited, in preparation for the race. After we finally set off, the journey was a further half hour or so in convoy.

Well, I was evidently sitting in the wrong bus. But I didn't miss the latter part of the drama. When we finally arrived at the starting area of the race, deep in the countryside, lots and lots of guys immediately alighted from the buses and ran for a line of trees where bladders were gratefully emptied. But the people alighting from the bus in front of the one I had been in were hampered by a young guy, maybe 20-25 years old, wearing running kit including red shorts, standing right by the open rear doors where he had just got out and peeing forcefully straight down onto the ground. Others alighting from his bus were having to step round him as he stood there, an expression of embarrassment mixed with relief all over his face, letting loose a veritable torrent.

It looked to me as if he could not possibly have lasted out a moment longer in that bus. Certainly he had no time to get to the line of trees.

Wish I'd been in his bus on that journey!

A memorable sighting! From all I have read, this is a problem with many races - the runners hydrate well and need a place to relieve themselves prior to starting, and it's not possible to have that many portapotties available. Women need to have priority for the ones that are there, so the men swarm to any clump of trees or into private yards. Any delay on a bus would make the situation worse.

Fred wrote:A memorable sighting! From all I have read, this is a problem with many races - the runners hydrate well and need a place to relieve themselves prior to starting, and it's not possible to have that many portapotties available. Women need to have priority for the ones that are there, so the men swarm to any clump of trees or into private yards. Any delay on a bus would make the situation worse.

This is all definitely true.

Timing for that final pee before the race is all important. If you get a good position in the crowded starting area early on, you'll need to pee while you're standing there. And there are indeed always queues for the portable urinals at the big races.

Regarding those queues, I once saw a guy standing just in front of me in the line suddenly cut the queue and go straight for the free spot. Everyone just let him. It was obvious he couldn't wait, and everyone understood.

I've also several times seen guys having to fight their way back out of the starting pens to go and pee again.

Just once, myself, I had to pee in my empty AA drink bottle while standing in the starting area. It was so crowded that no one could see what I was doing.

Of course after the start there are always lots of guys peeing at the first opportunity by trees on the route.

This can be a real issue for first-time runners who are told they must over-hydrate to succeed but then not warned about the lack of facilities, find themselves in urgent situations with no real hope of reaching a proper toilet or urinal.

I've seen these types helplessly holding on for dear life stuck determinedly in long lines at coffeeshops and other establishments along the route sticking out like sore thumbs in their gear alongside often equally desperate spectators.

As these restrooms tend to be single unisex situations the urgency is doubled for a shy lad at the front of the line who can't even take to the sinks if emergency strikes.

Yes, I guess those sorts of situations are the precursor to the runners sometimes ending up wetting themselves either before or during the race.

On two occasions I have seen a young male runner with wet running tights after we've finished. One of them, wearing full length yellow lycra, was walking back from the finish towards the changing area with a couple of friends with the lycra totally streaked wet all the way down the legs. He looked unhappy and pissed off, presumably about his little accident. The other, on a different occasion, was standing in the finish area in half-length black tights talking to friends with a smile on his face, apparently unconcerned about the fact that he was wet all over his groin area and it was obvious despite the black colour.

I've no idea whether those two had wet themselves before or during the race, but I assume the lead-up was along the lines of what you write about over-hydration and inadequate facilities.

I'm sure many marathoners wet themselves during the race, but the synthetic materials dry quickly, at least sufficiently so that it's not visible.

Fred wrote:I'm sure many marathoners wet themselves during the race, but the synthetic materials dry quickly, at least sufficiently so that it's not visible.

Yes, the clothing is certainly designed to keep the body dry. I bet you're right that more guys go in their tights than we would know from looking at them. But even so, the drying out might not work as fast as the guy in question was assuming, cold weather will slow things down, as will having to let more go later on because he's broken the seal, and maybe the material isn't quite as effective as he thought it would be (he won't know until he's tried!).

I ran a half marathon a few weeks ago, exactly the same thing happened, huge queues for the few portaloos from when I arrived for registration. I queued up with everyone else to take a quick slash after I'd collected my number etc.

Twenty minutes or so before the start I was warming up following a big ish group of runners who turned off down a small track through the trees, I knew what for so followed them, sure enough about 50 odd guys dotted all over a banking taking another final pre-start slash, I joined in of course!

I bet you had a great race after seeing all that. Thanks for sharing this with us.

The Boston Marathon comes in April, and with over 35,000 runners there must be a whole lot of illicit peeing prior to the race!