“You should have gone before we left the hall, I told you that.”
“Yeah, I know, but with everyone faffing about I couldn’t disappear to look for the loo, could I?”
“You know it’s always like that, just make time when you need to, we’re never ever ready on time. And it’s better than sitting on here nearly wetting yourself.”
The conversation continued between the two police constables sitting on the minibus on the way to the match at Bristol. They were actually from nearby Chippenham but had been drafted in to assist in one of the biggest football games in the city for years and the 25-mile trip to the stadium was proving to be tortuous in more ways than one. The traffic on the M4 motorway was horrendous and 23-year old PC Aaron Wilkins had a bladder full to bursting. Foolishly he had opted not to seek out the location of the toilets at the school hall where they had held their pre-match briefing although a couple of his colleagues had suggested that the toilets were locked anyway, what with it being a Saturday.
All the officers had piled onto their respective minibuses and coaches but the delay in actually getting out of the car park and away had been ridiculous and had probably taken in the region of half an hour. Now they were on a stop-start crawl along the motorway and Aaron was in huge discomfort with his overwhelming need to relieve himself.
“I really think we might have to make an emergency stop somewhere, I’m absolutely busting” he said to Chris Dodds sitting next to him.
“Not a chance mate” replied the other officer, “there’s no way he’ll agree to that” nodding towards the older officer sitting alongside the driver. “He’s already having kittens about whether we’re going to get there in time.”
“He’s not the only one” groaned Aaron, “I’m not sure I’m going to make it in time either!”
Chris grinned but 20 minutes later he was a bit more concerned and somewhat less frivolous about the situation.
“You really are in trouble, aren’t you mate?” he said, gently tapping his mate’s leg.
Next to him, Aaron was sitting almost on the edge of his seat and jigging his knees up and down with a look of genuine panic on his face, “I’m close to pissing myself!”
“We’ve still got nearly eight miles to go” said Chris worryingly.
“I can’t last out” replied Aaron “I’m going to wet myself in a minute”
“Sarge, Can we pull over somewhere? We’ve got someone absolutely desperate to go to the toilet back here.”
All the heads in the minibus turned to look at Chris and as they also saw Aaron’s predicament, giggles turned to concern. PC Wilkins was perched right on the edge of his seat and knocking his knees back and forth and rubbing his hands along the tops of his thighs.
“Blimey Sarge, if we don’t stop we’re going to have an accident on here.”
“Looks like he’s going to do it on the seat any minute.”
“That won’t only be embarrassing, we’ll have to put up with it too – for the rest of the way and on the way back too.”
“Pull over Sarge, there’s some services coming up. Quick, or else he’s going to do it in his trousers!”
“We’re going to have a Becks if we’re not careful!”
The now infamous Becks incident related to something that had happened a couple of years back when a new inspector called Alistair Beckingham who was one of the new-style senior coppers had been assigned to their station. A 28-year old graduate and qualified solicitor without any policing experience he had been assigned to their station and the story was that on only his second day he’d ended up wetting himself during a long, never-ending meeting of senior officers at police headquarters. No-one had ever verified the story but the driver who had collected the inspector from HQ was a bit of a blabbermouth and although nothing concrete had ever come out regarding the incident, the driver’s version had quickly done the rounds and ‘doing a Becks’ had become a common phrase when anyone was dying for a piss.
With much irritation and great reluctance, Sergeant Tomlin told the driver to pull off at the service station which was visible in the distance amidst the dozens of brake lights from vehicles in front of them. The last few minutes as they slowly approached the slip road was agony for PC Wilkins who was focussing hard to maintain his concentration and his control.
They finally pulled into a parking space and as the back door opened, Aaron clambered out in an ungainly manner with his extended bladder throbbing as his heavy belt dug uncomfortably into his lower stomach.
“Don’t you be long lad!” called out the sergeant, “As quick as you can be, okay?”
Aaron didn’t answer but as he set off towards the small building he didn’t know whether to walk or run. As a uniformed police officer he desperately wanted to maintain his dignity and composure but his bursting bladder was screaming at him to run as best he could and threatening to empty itself catastrophically into his underwear if he didn’t comply.
He ended up doing a half-walk, half-hobble across the tarmac, mentally already undoing his trousers in readiness for the approaching bliss but he couldn’t believe his eyes as he walked towards the doors where a sign read “We regret that the Gents toilets are unavailable due to urgent refurbishment work. Please use the temporary facilities. We apologise for any inconvenience.”
Aaron’s heart sank dawn as far as his police boots as he saw a queue of about seven or eight men waiting outside a small portable facility. It wasn’t a port-a-loo but more like a small cabin. Unsure as to whether he could even contemplate joining the back of the queue, he suddenly heard noise behind him and looked around to see about a dozen more young guys hurrying towards them as the occupants of a coachload of football supporters disembarked.
Amidst the moans and groans of the frustrated new arrivals, Aaron knew it was now or never and he went and stood behind the last guy at the back of the queue, which almost instantly doubled in its numbers.
“Come on, come on, I’m busting here!”
“This is ridiculous, someone’s going piss themselves in this queue!”
“Yeah, me knowing my luck!”
“Shit, I’m going to do it in my pants at this rate!”
“Blimey, the copper don’t look too comfortable, does he?”
Aaron could hear the comments but didn’t make any attempt to look behind him. Instead he was standing stretching the muscles in his taut legs as he tried desperately to stand still. Gently bobbing on the soles of his boots he was grinding his feet on the tarmac floor and gyrating his hips as discreetly as he possibly could. But all the time he could feel his over-worked bladder muscles struggling to retain control and with every passing second he came a teeny bit closer to a leak into his pants.
“The copper looks like he’s got two broomstick handles down his trouser-legs!” sniggered one lad from the back, prompting a few more muffled laughs.
“How come he’s the only one in the queue? There’s a busload of them sitting in the car park.”
“He must have been begging them for a stop, bet he almost pissed his pants on the coach!”
“He might still by the looks of him!”
Aaron again ignored the comments but they were horrifically close to the truth. There were still six in front of him but as they all stepped forwards to let another one in, Aaron felt a warm trickle run into his underpants and start to weave its way down the inside of his thigh. Straining every muscle he could he managed to stop himself and although the dribble crept down past his knee he felt nothing else. His heart was pounding but as he considered asking if he could jump to the front, they all stepped forward another place as Aaron released another longer spurt to run down his leg.
Several scorching hot spurts later the wet and warm trail down his leg had widened and the trickles were reaching his knee and occasionally dribbling down the back of his calf. He was close to the front entrance to the toilet and the spurts were now almost constant as his bladder ached with the strain of trying to prevent his pee escaping. His dignity already in tatters, he was frantically stepping from foot to foot and almost marching on the spot but still he released only spurts and trickles rather than a constant stream.
Behind him, the other blokes were looking in real surprise at the obviously frantically desperate young policeman but that’s all he appeared to be – desperate. Nothing had thankfully escaped through his thick police uniform trousers although the warm clammy and sticky feeling was all down Aaron’s thigh and his warm pants were clinging to him.
As he finally stepped into the small facility he could see that it contained two urinals and two cubicles and next in turn he was bobbing up and down as he started to urinate constantly, with his hot wee now starting to run rather than trickle down his leg. As the door to one of the cubicles opened the young constable simply stumbled inside, almost pushing the outgoing occupant aside and mumbling an embarrassed apology as he practically fell into the tiny portable facility.
Without even bothering to lock the door he wrenched his trousers open, pulled his pants to one side and let rip the most forceful jet of urine into the toilet bowl. The relief was unbelievable and for several seconds he had no control whatsoever over his stream which poured unstoppably into the bowl. Scarcely able to believe that he’d managed to avoid doing the whole lot in his trousers and pants he was breathing heavily and practically gasping with the relief of it all. But as the torrential jet gradually subsided into a trickle after around 15 seconds he began to realise the extent of the damage.
With his hands trembling he undid the top button of his trousers and felt the crotch of his briefs. They weren’t just wet they were soaking, so much so that he knew that if he were to squeeze the sodden cotton he’d send a torrent all down his legs. Tentatively he touched the front of his trousers and the wetness was immediately apparent, right down as far as his knee. Although the shiny wetness was only apparent if someone looked closely, the damp condition was making the inside lining stick to his leg and as he ran his hand down the length of his leg he could feel the wetness right down as far as his shin.
“Oh God, I must have pissed down my leg more than I realised!” he told himself, “I’ve practically completely wet myself!”
In the confines of the tiny cubicle, with people milling around right outside, it was near impossible to resolve his predicament but he knew that he had no alternative other than to do so. There was no way he could leave his wet pants on. Every time he moved he was going to disturb the material and release even more wee to run down his leg. He knew the pants just had to come off.
Trying to balance himself inside the tiny space he undid his belt and carefully lowered his trousers, trying hard not to let any of the items fall from his utility belt or out of his pockets but the trousers were weighed down by their contents and he found himself struggling to lower them without them falling right down. With his trousers around his knees he bent forwards and began unlacing his police boots. Taking his boots off was a chore at the best of times but in such cramped conditions it was a real challenge. Once or twice he clumsily banged into the side of the cubicle and cringed as he wondered what those outside must be thinking but he ploughed on regardless. First one boot and then the other until he had removed both his footwear and his trousers.
Standing in just a pair of rolled-down white football socks displaying the emblem of his beloved Tottenham Hotspur, he was finally able to pull down his pants and take them off completely, feeling just how heavy and wet they were. In the process he realised just how sodden his right sock was too but there was no way his socks could come off – his boots would rub his feet raw if he wore them without socks!
As he attempted to pull his trousers back on again he was panicking about the time involved. All in all Aaron must have been gone for at least a quarter of an hour. His wet trousers felt uncomfortable but he had no time to think about that. He managed to get his boots back on, again elbowing the sides of the cubicle several times in the process and having laced them up he scooped up his discarded underpants and took a deep breath before preparing to open the door.
The toilet was surprisingly almost empty as the coachloads of football supporters had been and gone, leaving just a steady trickle of people into the toilet facility. As Aaron walked out and glanced in the mirror he hardly took note of one guy standing at the urinal and another washing his hands in the small hand-basin. He dropped his underpants on top of some fresh paper towels nestling at the top of the bin and hurried outside, making his way back across to the waiting minibus.
“Where the bloody hell have you been!” scowled Sergeant Tomlin, “Fifteen sodding minutes we’ve been sitting here waiting!”
“Sorry Sarge” replied Aaron, “There was a massive queue.”
But the sergeant was not impressed. “We’d have been there by now if we hadn’t stopped for you.” And in a child-like voice he mocked “I can’t wait Sarge!” adding, “Well you ended up having to wait didn’t you, as I’m assuming you didn’t wet yourself?”
There were a few laughs as Aaron carefully got on and took his seat, desperately hoping that no-one would see his trousers.
“Did you make it okay?” smiled PC Chris Dodds.
“Just!” replied Aaron with a half-smile but blushing furiously.
“Has he pissed himself?” called out another voice “He’ll pong a bit on the way back if he has, mate!”
-------------------------
Fifteen minute earlier police administration assistant Dale Garvey had pulled up in the car park intending to grab himself a drink on the way to the Bristol game. His role was not a specific one other than he was intended to provide any support needed by the officers on the day. It was a bit of a cushy afternoon generally but he had only just parked up when he saw a police minibus drive into the car park and stop. Almost before the wheels had stopped moving, the door had opened and a young-looking constable had clambered out and began to half-run towards the main building. His legs were stiff and posture left Dale in absolutely no doubt. ‘Wow! That guy really needs the loo!”
From his position in his car Dale could see the queue for the toilet and he got out to get a better look. The queue was getting longer all the time and in the midst of it he could see the police officer standing and swaying slightly. By the time he got to the front he was stepping up and down on the spot and Dale’s heart was pounding as he realised the young constable must have been on the verge of wetting his pants in the queue. Dale wandered over to stand nearby, awaiting the exit of the policeman, more out of curiosity than anything else but as the minutes ticked by other people went in and came out again with the queue dwindling down to almost nothing and yet still the officer hadn’t emerged.
Dale’s mind went into overdrive trying to imagine what might have happened. Why on earth hadn’t he come back out? Maybe he hadn’t made it in time? Surely that couldn’t have happened but what other explanation might there have been?
Eventually, Dale’s curiosity got the better of him and he cautiously went into the near-deserted temporary facility. There was no sign of the officer but one of the cubicles was occupied and Dale could hear someone moving around inside. Suddenly another guy walked in and straight over to one of the urinals and as Dale turned to wash his hands, the cubicle door opened and in the mirror he saw the young constable emerge, furtively drop something in the waste bin and quickly walk out, followed closely by the other guy.
Now on his own Dale just couldn’t help himself and he looked at the bin. Sitting right at the top and resting on a whole pile of unused paper towels was a pair of white briefs. Almost without thinking Dale went to pick them up and realised, to his astonishment, that they were wringing wet. His heart almost burst through his chest as he let them rest again, then extracted a small plastic exhibit bag from his pocket and carefully lifted the pants by the waistband and dropped them into the plastic bag. The top of the waistband was still slightly warm and worn but the whole crotch and front area was soaking wet.
Dale was in heaven “Oh My God! That policeman has wet himself!”
As Dale walked out of the toilet he saw the police minibus disappearing back onto the motorway and he hurried back to his car. Careful not to be anywhere he could be overseen he took the plastic bag from his pocket and slowly extracted the pair of briefs. They were plain white pants with no brand name and the extent of their saturation had left the inside of the bag dripping wet. As Dale held them up by the waistband it was clear that a wetting accident had caused their soaking condition.
“I’ve got to find him” Dale told himself. “I assume he’s got to be pants-less under his uniform now? And what has he done about his trousers?”
-------------------------
It was around 45 minutes later when PC Aaron Wilkins was standing outside the stadium. He still could hardly believe what he’d done at the services but the evidence was obvious every time he moved and felt the rough inners of his uniform trousers chafe the tops of his legs. No-one had thankfully noticed anything when he was on the minibus although he had been careful to get out last in case he had left a wet mark on the seat.
But now he had another worry. It was a baking hot day and following the earlier comment on the minibus he was getting paranoid about the heat causing his urinated-in clothing to smell. He had been constantly brushing his hand down the legs of his trousers and although they had almost dried in the hot sunshine, could they still retain the aroma of urine? He was unsure.
He was also desperately worried about his sock which was still uncomfortably soaking wet inside his boot but again he feared that the intense warmth inside his boot would cause the smell of urine to become apparent when they were on the coach back.
All of a sudden he was slightly startled by a voice right next to him. “Hello there, I’m Dale Garvey, admin support staff” said the young guy who also held up his Avon and Somerset police badge. “I’m around today to provide any assistance you might need. Is there anything at all I can do for you?”
“Erm, no thanks, I think I’m okay” replied PC Wilkins.
“Anything at all. I’m off to the shops in that retail park in a moment so if there’s anything at all I can get for you, don’t hesitate to ask will you. I’ll be back in one minute”
“Okay, thanks” nodded the officer. He couldn’t ask, could he? But this might be his solution to his worrying dilemma. He was so paranoid about being given away on the journey back that this might just save the day for him. It was going to be the oddest of requests ever but if he didn’t ask he might regret not doing so for years to come.
“Anything then officer?” asked the admin assistant as he re-appeared.
“Erm, well” stuttered PC Wilkins, “I know this’ll sound odd but any chance, if you’re going to that retail outlet, that you could, erm, well, buy me a pair of socks?”
“Yeah of course” replied Danny, “poked your toe through yours, have you?”
The officer smiled, “No, not really, they’re just a bit uncomfortable and I’d really appreciate having a new pair to change into.”
“Size, colour, material…does it matter?” asked Dale.
“No, anything’s fine” said Aaron, handing over a five pound note from his wallet.
Ten minutes later Dale was walking back to the stadium with a pair of socks tucked in his pocket. He’d decided, this was a now-or-never moment. If he didn’t mention what he knew now, the chance would be gone forever and he knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life. As embarrassing and awkward as it was going to be to say something, he only had to do it once. If the officer reacted badly so-be-it, he didn’t have to see him again. But on the other hand, what if he opened up about what had happened? The opportunity just had to be taken.
“Here” he said, handing PC Wilkins a pair of short grey socks, “cheapest I could find, I hope they’ll be okay for you.”
“Fine thanks” replied the officer,” quickly stuffing the socks into his pocket.
“Shame you didn’t want a new pair of pants as well, I could have got you a good deal” laughed Dale.
PC Wilkins felt himself blush a bit as he smiled awkwardly.
And Dale took the plunge…
“Actually I wasn’t sure if you really did need some fresh pants, only, well… I was at the services and I was behind you in the queue…” he lied
Both of their hearts were thumping furiously.
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this but, I actually saw some liquid trickling out over your boot as you were in the queue” Dale lied again, but this time accompanied by a reddening face, “it was coming out of the bottom of your trouser-leg.”
“Oh” said the officer, before adding sharply, “Are you serious? Did that happen? You actually saw that?”
Dale just nodded, “Did you wet your pants?”
“Oh No, I don’t believe it! You haven’t told anyone have you? Please don’t say you’ve told anyone. Did anyone else in the queue notice? I really didn’t know that had happened. I thought it had all been contained.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else noticed. I don’t think too many others were looking in the direction of your feet fortunately. But what happened? Couldn’t you wait?
PC Aaron Wilkins felt almost relieved as he revealed his shameful moment, “I actually wet myself in the queue. I was just so desperate I couldn’t wait. I’d almost done it in my pants on the minibus but I begged them to make a stop and then were was a queue for the toilets. I was just standing there doing it, I couldn’t help myself. I could feel it running all down my leg but I really didn’t know it had made a puddle on the floor. I’d have died if I’d known that.”
“So you didn’t make it inside in time at all?”
“Oh yes, I still had to piss like a racehorse when I finally got in there but I’d still done half of it in my pants. I was soaking wet, pants trousers, everything. That’s why I need fresh socks, one of mine is still saturated.”
“But your underpants must be so uncomfortable if you’ve wet them that badly.”
“I took them off, I’m commando” they young officer whispered, “That's uncomfortable too. I would have asked you to buy me a pair of briefs too but I’ve got nowhere to put them on or get changed.”
“Well, you can always get changed in my car” said Dale …
