DESPERATE EXTERMINATOR
At the turn of the Millemium I worked as an exterminator for a major national pest control company.
We worked on a commision basis so the more service calls we made, the more money we earned. I worked a residential route in a town of about 40,000. I always tried to schedule as many appointments in a specific area of town as possible so I could get as many services made as possible. Many of the residential neighorboods didn't have restaurants or convenience stores nearby. As the job was very physical, I always had coolers of ice water on my truck. I drink a lot of water. I always have.
The account I'm telling now is from a day in the Springtime. This day I had a full day packed with service calls in a large middle class neighborhood where many of my customers lived. The day started out as any other day. I knew I had a full busy day scheduled. It was warm, but not hot. I began doing the services and drinking water. I worked thru lunch this day due to the full schedule. By 3:00PM, I needed to pee fairly bad. I knew I had a couple more hours of work to do and that there were no restrooms nearby. I just made up my mind that I could hold it. Each service call took 30 - 45 minutes to complete. By the time I finally arrived at my last service call I was absolutely BURSTING. I seriously considered taking the time to go somewhere to use the bathroom. However, I was running behind on my schedule so I drove on to my last stop. I got out of my truck and waddled up to the door of the house. I rang the doorbell. I was so flipping desperate to empty my bladder that I was shifting from foot to foot and breathing heavy. I was determined to get thru this last stop then find some place to take the piss of my life. The customer let me in, I made the usual greetings, asked if there had been any issues with pests since my last visit. I began my inspection and application of the pesticides according to our procedures. This meant walking thru the entire house, looking behind furniture, inspecting inside cabinets and spraying pesticides as needed. This meant squatting, twisting, and moving heavy furniture as needed. All things that are excrutiating with you desperately need to pee. We were not supposed to ask customers to use the bathroom at their home. A few guys had done that previously and took big bowel movements that offended the home owners who then complained to our management. Thus we were told not to do that. Even as desperate as I was this day, I was determined not to ask because I didn't want to get a negative report. So, I suffered on. Each step getting more and more difficult to take. My breathing was shallow because I had all my abdoment muscles tensed to keep the pee held in. I soon finished the inside part of the service, but still had to do the outside part. I considered having the customer sign my service ticket so I could leave as soon as I was finished, but that wasn't how things were usually done. I was so determined (and pee shy) to make things look as normal as possible, I didn't change the process. I told the customer that I was going out to do the exterior service.
The exterior part included sweeping cobwebs from the eeves, searching the house for new holes created by pests or construction. Each of these meant another walk around the home. Finally, the spraying of pesticide around the base of the house and out to about 4 feet. The sprayer was connected to a 100 gallon water tank that contained the pesticide and to a heavy duty rubber hose mounted on a reel. We pulled the hose from the reel and sprayed pesticide. On this day, the sound of the liquid spraying seemed to be twice as loud as usual. I still remember how painful it was to pull on the hose, walk around one side of the house, and hearing the sound of the liquid spraying from the nozzle. By this time, I could not stand still. I stayed in motion. My hands were busy. I couldn't have grabbed my crotch or put my hands in my pockets if I wanted to. Because the hose wasn't long enough to go completely around most homes, I had to complete this part of the job by going around one end of the house, pullling the hose back then going to the other end of the house. FINALLLY, I was finished. I rolled the hose back on the reel and went inside to tell the customer I was finished and to have my service ticket signed. Thankfully, it didn't take long. I hurried back out to my truck and sped away. My focus was on nothing but getting to a restroom somewhere, anywhere. I knew where the nearest convenience store was so I headed that direction. Unfortunately, there were a couple of traffic lights between where I was and the store. I made it thru the first light without having to stop. THANK GOD!! I knew I was not going to be able to hold it much longer. I saw the second light. The convenience store was just across the intersection. DAMN, the red light caught me. SHIT SHIT SHIT. OH GOD. I was doing major pee dancing and didnt give a damn if anyone noticed. I was just moments away from relief. Then, suddenly, with one foot on the brake and the other on the clutch of my company truck, my bladder gave way. My body shuddered and before I was able to comprehend what was happening, I was peeing in my pants. My work uniform pants. My tight green khaki style pants. HISSSSSSSSSSS. I had been holding it so long and had so much pee stored up it gushed out. I couldn't have stopped it if I tried. I just sat there. Still parolized by what was happening. "BEEP BEEP". The vehicle behind me honked because the light had turned green and I hadn't moved. This snapped me back into reality. I drove forward and pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store...still peeing. I had finally realized that as a 30 year old man, I was sitting in my company truck peeing in my pants like a 3 year old boy. I didn't dare get out of the truck. Thankfully, we were allowed to drive the trucks to our homes so that's where I headed. It was about a 30 minute drive for me. The pee had gushed out so hard and so fast. My pants were soaked. The seat was soaked. There was a puddle of pee in the floor. I drove home. About 5 mins from my house I needed to pee again. I got home. I stepped out of the truck and couldn't stop it. I peed again. The pee flowed out again and this time down my legs. I walked stiff legged into my house. I peeled off my pee soaked pants and stepped into the shower.
What relief. I've thought about this experience many times of the years.
I hope you enjoy reading it.
Thanks,