Santacon 2015

[Sean]

Was at work last Saturday, but went into town (West End, London) to get a few Christmas presents afterwards.

I quickly realised that it was the annual Santa event that London (and many other cities) have been running the last few years. In London it used to be quite organised, and have designated focal points, but it's degenerated into a pub crawl that is supposed to be self organising (via Twitter, Facebook etc.), but just ends up being chaos.

Not a problem for me, particularly.

Found myself surrounded by massive groups of enormously pissed up young lads (and lassies, but they were in the minority) wandering round, drinking indiscriminately, not not knowing where they were, where they were meant to be going, or where the next toilet was. Pretty good!!

As soon as I passed the bottom of xxxxx Square I encountered my first Santa pissing through the railings into the square. Managed to join him a metre or two away, and he confessed he'd been bursting, couldn't hold it any longer. Medium sized tool, but very impressive stream!!

As soon as he'd finished and left, another Santa came walking up, he went into an alley off the square, found a doorway and let rip. Naturally, I had a pressing need to walk down that same alleyway. As I approached him I said “oh, Santa!”, and he turned to reply to me, revealing a much chunkier uncut tool, spurting a nice thick white stream, and apologised, saying “there are just times when I just can't hold it!”. I said “no worries, Santa. Everyone's got to go!”, and (slowly) passed him.

Helped a girl manage a massively drunk (or probably more) Santa for a bit (very cute, no piss), got them into a cab, and set off to see what else was going on.

Went back to xxxxx Square (but North side this time). This turned out to be the main focal point. There's a big bar there, and next to the square a strange urinals that allows two guys to piss in it at once. The queue was four or five blokes on each side, so it doesn't take too much experience of pissed up lads to realise that there were a lot of lads that weren't happy with/able to wait for the queues. So a very nice half hour for me standing next to pissing lads in Santa suits, with most of them going “oh f**k, I needed that”, or “f**k, that's better”!!

When I thought I'd better make a move I went up into the street opposite the bar (which was full of Santas).

Good timing, as one Santa decided it would be really funny to piss on the arse of another Santa. Gotta love drunk lads!! I got a great eyeful, unfortunately it was too dark to take pictures or videos. But I will remember that dirty lad!!!

Another Santa was obviously in distress (whole lot of c**k squeezing going on), and twice got it out to piss on some street signage, but lost his bottle each time. Bless. I wonder what happened to him??

Thought I had better start heading homewards about now, so moved down towards xxxxxxx Square, where I was pleased to see a group of 30 or so Santas dancing to techno music.

There is a public toilet on this square, but it's one that charges 20p for entry!!

When I saw a big group of lads headed to it I joined them, and when one was left behind I put the 20p in for him (inspired by the story “rugby relief” on here).

He was so grateful, kept turning towards me and thanking me the whole time he was pissing. Which was nice!

Went back up to the techno Santas. They had no clue where the toilet was, so every couple of minutes one would leave the gang (often at a run!) and nip up one of the two nearest streets for a hugely relieving piss. Strangely, I always needed one at the same time, so got to see lots of ecstatic releases - and being how they were all so drunk, was really easy to chat with them all, getting them to turn towards me.

'Twas a good night, to be sure!!

Roll on Santacon 2016!!!!

[Fred]

Sadly, nothing like that happens in MY neighborhood. Good timing to be there at the right place at the right time!

[Brian]

It's not known here in my neighbourhood either. But I guess it's lots of guys dressing up in the traditional red suit with white beard at Christmas time? What a treat to read your account of all these well-hydrated guys in their Santa suits not knowing where they can relieve themselves. I wish I'd been there too, but I don't think I'd have been as brazen as you were, talking to them like that when they were watering the alleyways.